The pain of a broken marriage can seem impossible to overcome. It is an overwhelming presence that hangs around for far too long. As one faces the shattered dreams of what they envisioned for their life, the hurt comes flooding in, and does so often. It can be pretty debilitating for some, and many get stuck there with no forward momentum. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. In this post I’m sharing 5 ways to Cope with the pain of a Broken Marriage.
(disclaimer- I’m not a licensed counselor, all thoughts presented here are solely from my own experiences as well as drawn from the experiences of many I’ve come to know on this similar journey. Always seek a licensed counselor when in need.) ** In addition this post contains affiliate links. Click Here for full disclosure**
1- Get in the Word. Whether you are listening to the bible, or have one hands on to use, seek it daily. Scripture is packed with encouragement to help you cope with the pain of a broken marriage. It is filled with Gods promises. Reading the bible is healing balm for your hurting soul. Truly you will get from the bible what you put in. If you are seeking God daily through his word, you will gain so much wisdom and insight into your situation that will help you take each courageous new step. As you seek the Lord you will be on the right path. As is stated in Psalm 119:105, “Your word is a lamp unto my feet, a light on my path.” Reading scripture when you are hurting is medicine for your soul.
2. Journal. Get a cheap notebook at the store and start writing. Don’t worry about penmanship or proper sentence structure. This journal is for you, and only you. Journaling has been noted in our online community as one of THE MOST HELPFUL strategies time and time again. In fact we even have some women who can’t wait and look forward to getting home after work so they can get to their journal right away! It is that helpful. Want to get a little more creative with it? Creative Bible journaling is personal and expressive, and a healing way to process your emotions during this time.
What are you supposed to write? The answer is anything. When you are working to cope with the pain of a broken marriage you will have a variety of emotions that run the spectrum. It is highly encouraged to use the journal first and foremost anytime you have overwhelming feelings of panic, pain, grief, sadness, or anger etc. Use it to express your feelings and what your concerns are. Let it all hang out. Once your feelings and fears are written in the journal you can symbolically let them go. The words are in the journal so you don’t have to hang onto them anymore. You can lift them up to God essentially saying, “Here God. Please take this out of my hands!” It is important to get out your feelings and process them, and the journal is the perfect way to do it!
3. Cry. Yes! Truly sometimes the only way to cope with the pain of a broken marriage is to face it head on. Let the tears roll! Crying is one of the most therapeutic things you can do when you are hurting. It helps to release the pent up feelings inside when there are so many unknowns, and so much hurt. I remember after a particularly rough day I stood in the shower and cried awhile, knowing there was nothing I could do to stop this whole nightmare. When I was finished crying, I remember feeling just a little more light in my heart, a small sense of relief.
4. Get Support. Coping with the pain of a broken marriage can be a very isolating experience. It’s important to surround yourself with others who are supportive.
“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” -Proverbs 11:14
This could look like a lot of things. Maybe you have some girlfriends who live close by who you can get together with often to talk with. Or maybe its seeing a professional counselor. Many churches have counseling type programs at no cost to you. My church had a 1:1 minister program. I signed up and was connected with someone right away who was a HUGE blessing in my life. There are days when you will lean more on your supports as you travel this journey, and you will be so glad your supports are there. Check out our secret supportive community here!
5. Serve others. This one is the BIGGEST advice you will hear other marriage bloggers give (and me!) when asked how to cope with the pain of a broken marriage. I remember the first time I crawled out of my shell while I was going through my separation. There was one particular person in my life I had heard was really struggling, and I knew after one of my sobfests I needed to reach out and get outside of myself for a minute. I wanted to feel anything but pain, and I knew helping someone else would help me feel like I was good at something, that I was making a difference. So I did reach out and help. I didn’t gain any monetary reward or public praise, however knowing the difference my service made was priceless for the joy it brought my heart. After that, I changed jobs and worked to serve others in my career. Every day I came home feeling more joy and confidence resurfacing. Serving others with Gods love is a pretty incredible exchange. What you give you receive tenfold in your heart.
“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.” -Proverbs 11:24-25
Coping with the pain of a broken marriage doesn’t have to be impossible, with the right supports and strategies you can survive, and even thrive! What strategies will you start today?
Are you currently separated? Hope for the Separated