Saving Your Marriage with God- Show Vs. Tell

As a Christian blogger who writes on marriage and saving your marriage with God, I often get asked from readers if I think they should send their spouse a devotion they just read, or a video that spoke to them. What we’ve seen over time is this- it doesn’t work.

When a Christian wife is in the throes of a suffering marriage, she often leans into Gods’ word, seeking help, encouragement, and hope.  This is first and foremost what she should be doing to learn and grow in her relationship with Jesus, and to navigate the steps the Lord is asking her to take. However, as I’ve often seen (and am guilty of myself!), many of these same wives looking for direction and hope, will come across scripture that they want their husband to see, because they want him to see the peril of his ways! They want him to stop the nonsense and turn around and repent! They want him to see what God has said not to do! Truly if he would take these words to heart the marriage would be saved! And so what do they do? They send their husbands these scriptures and remind them of their waywardness…… and most of the time, the divide grows, and the wife is more upset than ever.

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Awhile back I came across a powerful quote by D.L. Moody in which he states:

Out of 100 men, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian.

Thank you D.L. Moody, this hit me square in the eyes. Truly, I can’t encourage my husband to follow a savior I’m not following in my own life. Or anyone for that matter. If I’m spouting scripture at my husband but nothing in my life points to God, I’ve no credibility, and he will not be drawn in. Nobody wants to be told to love. People want to be loved, and experience love.  If I’m telling my husband he needs to see Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”, but I’m not demonstrating love or respect in ways that are evident in my day-to-day life towards him, how can he be drawn into that? 

It is much more effective to develop a real relationship with Jesus, to be a vessel for his love. Saving your marriage with God means walking humbly with Jesus, and having a heart to follow his ways. Husbands can be drawn into wives who give unconditional respect (Ephesians 5:33)

1 Peter 3:1 clearly defines the importance of showing God to husbands without a word:

” Wives, respect your husbands in the same way. Then the husbands who do not obey the word of God will want to know God. They will want to know God because their wives live good lives, even though they say nothing about God.”

Scripture here is practically saying- don’t throw scripture at your husband. Live it, show it, you have a far better chance at reaching your man that way.

Saving your marriage with God means truly seeking God in every step. Our husbands and God know when we’re putting on a show to get a result too. This is a whole process of learning and lots and lots of practice to truly exemplify Gods’ love. For me, I’m still growing in this area, and it’s not been a cakewalk, but what I can tell you is this- it has been worth every single effort.

When He Says I Don’t Love You Anymore, A Christian Guidebook For Wives in the Battle For Their Marriages

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  1. Alyson says:

    I purchased When He Says He Doesnt love You…from paypal for $10. I saved it to my phone and then was in the middle of reading it and my phone shut off. Now, it is nowhere on my phone. I can show you proof of purchase if you can tell me what to do to get access to it again. Thank you very much.

    1. Beth says:

      HI Alyson! I have sent you an email to resolve this with a new link. God Bless! (If you don’t receive it please email to let me know at Thank You!

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