My dear daughter,
I see the twinkle in your eye when the prince finds Cinderella at last. I see how you giggle when prince Eric falls for Ariel, or Sleeping Beautys’ prince awakens her with true loves’ kiss. I know how you love Rapunzel, and love to pretend to lower your long beautiful hair to be “rescued” by the prince. For now I am enjoying your make-believe, your pure innocence, your imaginary play. I want to stay here with you forever, where you will always believe in pure love and innocence.
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But I know there will be a day where there you are my grown daughter, staring back at me with tissues in hand and tears in your eyes. The reality of the world will be revealed to you, and your heart will hurt. You might question your worth, you might question what is so bad about you? You will wonder if you chose the right prince.
What the fairy tales never told you, is the princes of fairytales are not the true life men of the world. They don’t have the every day stressors of life and they don’t have issues from the past. They are one dimensional characters without any layers of complexity. True men of the world are not capable of perfection as are the princes of fairytales. And you know what? Neither are we, the true women of the world, capable of perfection. Here in lies the problem. How do we thrive in successful marriages, if we are incapable of perfection, if we have stressors of every day life, and when the mountains sometimes seem impossible to move?
There is another prince the fairytales don’t mention. He is the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ, the savior of the world. He is the one true and never-changing, perfect prince we can always rely on.
You see my dear daughter, when you place your hopes and dreams on your husband, he will fail you. He may be a very wonderful man, but he cannot fill every hope and dream. He cannot read your thoughts, and even with the best intentions, he cannot respond every time in a way that you will see as suitable. He is a flawed human being, just like me and you.
He has hopes and dreams too. He is looking to you too. And there will be times you will disappoint him even with your best efforts. You are flawed and imperfect also.
I hope you always remember this: that when you put your hopes and dreams in Jesus, you will not be disappointed, and you will also take the burden from your husband from filling a hole that only Jesus can fill.
How do you do this? With each day, pray for your husband, your marriage, and for yourself. Pray for god’s guidance in every step you take.
Place your requests to the Lord. Place your fears, frustrations, and anxieties on him- not on your husband. Ask The Lord what to do when you just don’t know what to do anymore.
Place more value on reading God’s word and written instructions for your path than on social media, and who’s doing what.
Yes its good to be open and honest with your husband, but you must place your full hope in the Lord. Putting all your hope in a person is a guaranteed path to failure. But God, he will not fail you, and he has big plans for you and your marriage when you let him guide the way!
Placing your trust in Jesus will also shape your faith in ways you cannot imagine until you are married. Being married tests us in ways we had not experienced when we were single. We are tested in patience, perseverance, choosing to love when we are rather upset at our spouse, and most of all, giving our spouse grace when we’d rather not. We are refined by the marital fire to be more christ-like. This is the best way to thrive in your marriage, to learn to be more like Christ, and respond accordingly in every interaction. This is the true work of marriage more than date nights, or fancy flowers and chocolates.
Growing in Christ will also prepare you for the other roads life in general will take you down.
Sound like work? It can feel like it at times, but it is work worth every breath, to live and thrive and enjoy a blessed marriage full of grace, love, humility, and joy.
So my dear daughter,
whenever you feel lost or confused and looking for the way when your Prince has long lost his crown, look up. God will guide you, he will show you the way. Never lose hope, never lose faith, and never give up. Stand firm and build your house on the rock, and you shall never sink in shifting sand.